Move over Whitney, these NJ celebs need their own slot machines
She will always love you, and now you can see a lot more of her.
As you may have heard, International Gaming Technology has come up with a new experience in slot machines where you’re immersed in a Whitney Houston experience. What!? You haven’t heard!?
It’s all explained here in Jen Ursillo’s article.
Now here’s the thing. Whitney Houston was great, no doubt. But is it like New Jersey to not double down? I’m mean, why stop there?
New Jersey has grown so much talent over the years that we could have an entire casino filled with various celebrity slot machines. Mini-concerts and shows all around.
From the top of my head, couldn’t Bruce Springsteen be made into a slot machine? After all he even has a song called “Atlantic City.”
Or what about Jack Nicholson? Maybe the big win could be three Oscars in a row wearing Jack’s trademark sunglasses. I can picture the glitz.
So hear me out. Just brainstorming. Here are seven New Jersey celebrities who could easily be turned into slot machines, and I’m certain you can think of many others.
Paul Rudd
This is a one-armed bandit the ladies would love to play. Once voted Sexiest Man Alive Rudd would have women after him even if he really had only one arm. Born in Passaic, Paul Rudd’s slot machine could play clips of him in “Clueless” and “Wet Hot American Summer” and maybe come with a water dispenser labeled The Fountain of Youth.
Danny DeVito
This machine needs to play his best scenes from “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” on a loop, and of course it needs to be half the size of all the other slot machines. The only downside is it will pay off the jackpot in Jersey Mike’s gift cards.
Martha Stewart
This slot machine will smell like potpourri, lavender, with hints of vanilla and federal prison. You’ll win when you get three images in a row of Martha passing a blunt to Snoop Dogg.
Kevin Smith
I see this slot machine decorated in comic books wrapped intricately in strips of film and the seat in front of it is a director’s chair. Snarky, socratic movie lines play from a speaker as you try to win by having three Quick Stops line up…in a row?
James Gandolfini
A Jersey guy through and through, we absolutely must have a slot machine dedicated to him and his alter ego Tony Soprano. You don’t win money from this machine. You just break it open with a sledgehammer and take it. End of story.
Chelsea Handler
One of the hotter Atlantic City slot machines, this one will be adorned with all the seductive layouts the Livingston, NJ native did for Allure and Playboy, yet a speaker will hurl her sarcasm at you. Three vodka bottles in a row hits jackpot.
Phil Murphy
Sure, he’s more a politician than a celebrity, but he’s arrogant enough to THINK he’s a rockstar. The realistic part of this slot machine is when you finally hit the jackpot and all the money pours out, a vacuum immediately sucks back in 90% of it for taxes.
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Gallery Credit: Stacker
Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.