Would She Have Been Arrested for Doing This on the Margate Beach?
Every beach has its list of rules, but I'm sure if you checked the rules for Margate Beach, you wouldn't find this rule on the list. Probably.
In Georgia, a woman has been arrested for ---- shall we say - "amusing herself" on a beach on Tybee Island.
She apparently didn't know anyone was watching her, and she apparently used, um, a device to, uh, amuse herself.
I'm not going to get any more graphic than that. You probably have a picture in your mind about exactly what happened.
According to The Smoking Gun Website, the woman showed up at the beach, laid out a towel, and "took care of business." She apparently was arrested later at a local restaurant.
REMINDER: Always wash your hands before sitting down to eat.
Anyway, she was arrested. She said she was sorry, and, according to the arrest report on The Smoking Gun, "she did not think anyone saw her because it only took her 20 seconds...."
I think you got the story.
So.... I started thinking about what would happen if this kind of thing occurred on Margate Beach?
(By the way, I selected Margate completely at random, and my selection should not infer that I believe anything similar has happened or would happen on said beach.)
So... what would happen? Margate Beach?
#1 She would not be able to have a fire! Most of the time, no fires are allowed on the Margate Beach!
#2 Depending on the time of the year, she may be checked for a beach tag. That would be really awkward, right?
#3 She'd be able to purchase an iced cream novelty right on the beach and wouldn't need to go straight to a restaurant.
#4 She could finish her business and then head right inside Lucy the Elephant. I really have no idea what significance this is, but it sounds - well, weird - right?
#5 She'd probably be attacked by seagulls! I really don't care to get any more specific than that. This has no happy ending. Well.....
#6 There would be great posts for DAYS on South Jersey Craigslist's "Missed Connections": "I saw you on the beach with your little friend. I thought you were smiling at me....."
#7 Oh! Greenheads! Oh snap!
God Bless America - and mind your manners, especially on the Margate Beach!
SOURCE: The Smoking Gun