The Poop Knife is Apparently a Real Thing (Oh Yuck!)

"Everybody Poops!"

That's the name of a book.

Just because everybody poops that doesn't mean we all have to talk about it.

Ever.

I'll be honest, I've changed lots of poop-filled diapers and I've picked up a lot of dog poop, and yes, I have, on occasion, pooped. (See above - everybody does it.)

All that doesn't mean that I have to talk about it. But, I am. Right here. Right now.

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Long ago, I heard the team "poop knife" and I immediately tried to forget hearing the term.

It actually worked - I forgot all about it. But then, recently, I heard some late night comedian on some stupid channel talk about it. (Obviously it was a lousy comedian, because he was talking about a poop knife. Great material, fella!)

So, now that it was once again pinging around my brain, I decided to do some research. (God knows there are so many interesting things to research!)

Anyway, away I went down the slippery slope of the World Wide Web seeking information on poop knives

Here's what I found:

First, you can actually buy a poop knife on Amazon.

Honey! Delivery from Amazon! What is it? Can I open it?

The ad for the product says it's a gag gift. (Yes, it does make me gag, just thinking about it.)

You can find out more about the product here.

So what is a poop knife for? That's the other thing I learned. I was going to explain it, but I really don't want to. So, watch this:

So, while there are gag gifts and funny videos, there apparently really is a use for such a thing.

Bad plumbing, hereditary reasons, and more apparently have necessitated the need for "the device." Some people really have this thing in their homes!

Apparently, several years ago there was quite a lively discussion on the social platform Reddit. 12Tomatoes.com shared some of the comments, including:

"...LearnedButt, a user on Reddit. He said:'I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. My family poops big. Our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out ‘Hey, can you get me the poop knife?” I thought it was a standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.' ”

God Bless the poop knife users of the world.

This leads us to the question we must ask:

They say you learn something new every day and now I can definitely say that I did learn something new today.

I do have to tell you two things, though:

1. You're never going to be able to unlearn this.

2. The online ads that you're about to start seeing about Poop Knives will probably make you question your sanity.

That's it. The end. I'm all pooped out.