We don’t really need further evidence that we are living in a total nightmare (or an alternate timeline, if you’re one of Those People), but then a piece of news comes along that forces us to confront the true horror of reality by offering a painful glimpse at a beautiful life that could’ve been — and never was (at least not in this timeline, if you’re one of Those People). Today, it’s the heartbreaking revelation that Jeff Goldblum — national treasure, king of the silver foxes and master of the universe — could have been the voice of Siri on your iPhone. In the mournful words of the wise Adele, WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAALLLLLL.
It’s a story fit for a mediocre rom-com: A 37-year-old man from Austin, Texas is suing a woman for texting during a screening of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. And not just some random stranger, either — she was his date. In what he describes as “a first date from hell,” the woman allegedly refused to put her phone away and continued to text until he finally suggested she take the conversation outside. She did just that, taking her phone out of the theater, through the lobby, and out to the parking lot, where she drove off and left her date without a ride home.
Get your Prince Ali mash-up memes ready because Will Smith might be taking on the role of the charismatic Genie in Disney’s live-action remake of Aladdin. The studio was previously in talks with Smith to play the villain role in Tim Burton’s live-action Dumbo movie, and although those discussions ultimately fell apart, it looks as though Disney might be able to land the actor for a part in another one of their many, many, many live-action remakes.
Don Rickles’ talents were seemingly limitless: An outrageous insult comic, a gifted dramatic actor, a welcome sight on stages and screens (big and small), and a constant presence whose career endured for decades, often surpassing his contemporaries. And now he’s gone on to join them, as the legendary Rickles passed away today, April 6, at the age of 90.
It was the Best Picture Winner announcement heard ’round the world; for just a brief, hilariously awkward moment in time, when La La Land was erroneously declared the big winner of Oscar night 2017, we forgot all about our current political turmoil and embraced the total madness of Envelopegate. How could such a ridiculous mixup happen? The explanation for the confusion is fairly simple, but, in a twist befitting the ongoing insanity of this whole debacle, the dependable accountants of PricewaterhouseCoopers may have predicted their own error just days before the awards. The plot thickens.
At some point we’re all going to have to stop asking, “Is this real life?! Is this really happening right now?!” The daily proliferation of surreal news headlines will never feel normal (nor should they), but it’s the frequency our country is operating at now, and it will likely continue at this pitch for the next four years, which officially kicked off today. In the latest episode of The Surreal Life, Donald Trump basically plagiarized Bane, Tom Hardy’s mush-mouthed villain from The Dark Knight Rises, in his inauguration speech.
If you’ve ever wondered what a Tim Burton movie starring Will Smith would look like, you might find out relatively soon. The actor is reportedly circling a role in Disney’s live-action remake of Dumbo, which Burton has been attached to direct for some time now. After delivering the disappointing one-two punch of Suicide Squad and Collateral Beauty, Smith sure could use a win, and joining Disney’s growing empire of live-action remakes seems like a pretty safe bet.
It’s hard to pass judgment on iPhone’s new “theatre mode” because, well, it doesn’t exist out in the real world just yet. But according to a new report, that might be changing sooner rather than later, as Apple’s latest update is said to include this mysterious function. What is it, exactly? What does it do? Is this good news or bad news? Is the sanctity of the theatrical experience facing a new, insidious threat? Whatever it is, we’ll probably find out on January 10, when the iOS 10.3 beta rolls out to iPhone users.
Every year, Forbes releases rankings of the highest-paid and highest-grossing actors around the world, but their most interesting list comes a little later in the year when the publication unveils their annual rundown of the most overpaid actors in Hollywood. Unsurprisingly, Johnny Depp’s name tops the list for the second year in a row — and yet, sadistic Hollywood executives just keep right on putting him and his big dumb hats in big budget blockbusters.
Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory may be a world of pure imagination where the sky is the limit and anything is possible, but it’s hard to say the same about major studios, which keep returning to the same well of established franchises (including board games and toys) to cash-in on name recognition — why risk millions on an original, inventive idea when they can just repurpose a tried-and-true classic? Such is the case with good ol’ Willy Wonka, who is returning to the big screen in a new prequel film from the producer of the Harry Potter series.
In one of Dwayne Johnson’s many (many, many, many) recent Instagram updates, the seemingly immortal actor promised that he’s assembling a killer lineup for the Jumanji reboot. He’s kept his word so far, as Jack Black is set to co-star in the upcoming film, which reunites Johnson with Central Intelligence pal Kevin Hart. Today brings word of yet another prospective addition in the form of a Jonas brother.
Chances are, you or someone you know either shares their Netflix and HBO Go passwords or benefits from using someone else’s account. It’s such a common occurrence that, when asked about it, even the CEO of HBO was like, “No big deal,” then he tipped his shades and sent out a memo with a shrug emoticon — okay, I made that last part up, but if even that guy doesn’t care, then what’s the problem? Oh, just a little something called Federal Law.
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