The Real Reasons You Can’t Live in South Jersey and Be a Dallas Cowboys Fan
The football season is underway, and the cheering is going up from everywhere. At this point, any team can win the Super Bowl because, well, there are so many games left.
Here in South Jersey, it's safe to say the majority of NFL football fans root for the Philadelphia Eagles.
As you go north in New Jersey, that allegiance will eventually switch over to the New York Jets or New York Giants.
I think we can agree, though, that this area, including Atlantic, Cape May, Cumberland, Gloucester, Camden, Salem, is Eagles Country.
For the majority of Eagles fans in our area, they are Eagles fans because they were born here, they live here, they grew up here.
That's really how it's supposed to work: You are a fan of your local team, and that's that. (By the way, I didn't make up the rules, the football gods did. It's universal. If I knew where to look it up, I'd tell you to look it up.)
Look around, though, everyone in our area is not an Eagles fan. In some cases, that's OK, that's understandable. Again, this is from the football gods themselves.
So, let me break it down for you:
It's acceptable to live in Eagles Country and be a fan of another team only if one of the following applies:
1. You were born somewhere else and moved here.
2. Your parents/brother/family were born elsewhere and were big fans of a team where they lived. Family Transfer of Team Love is permitted.
3. You dated and/or married someone, or your own parent, child, or brother, uncle, or nephew actually played for another team. Team Love for Personal Financial Gain is allowed.
3. You lived somewhere besides your birthplace for at least 5 years, and now you live here. Living somewhere for at least 5 years is an acceptable reason to change fan allegiance. NOTE: It's not 4 years, because you can't change your allegiance if you lived somewhere just because you went to college there. ALSO NOTE: If you live here for 5 years and then switch to the Eagles, you're really just team jumping and that's frowned upon.
So, let's get down to the Cowboys thing:
You cannot be a Dallas Cowboys fan unless at least one of the following applies:
1. You were born in the Dallas geographical area. (That actually may include some states very far away from New Jersey, but, well, whatever)
2. Your Mom, Dad, or other family members grew up in the Dallas area and were actually Cowboys fans.
3. You're married to Roger Stauback or Troy Aikman.
4. You actually lived in the Dallas area for 5+ years.
That's it. Again, blame the football gods for all this.
WAIT! I thought of one more exception:
You can be a Dallas Cowboys fan if you're a girl and like their uniforms.
That's it. If you're a Cowboys fan, we expect your response in writing, please.