Survey says NJ not even close to state eating the most bagels

New Jersey getting beaten in any category having to do with bagels is like LeBron being beaten in a pickup game by a 10-year-old. New Jersey loves its bagels as much as its pizza. Ours are just as good as New York’s. Maybe better. We certainly have more character and creativity to offer at New Jersey bagel shops than they do.

So how is it even remotely possible that a study came out done by Shane Co.'s The Loupe claiming we are nowhere near the state that eats the most bagels? Did they unfairly compare the total number eaten per state? Nope. That’s not it. They did a fair job of finding averages.

They surveyed 3,037 Americans across many states. States excluded were Alaska, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming because the number of willing survey participants was too small a pool to be considered reliable.

When all was said and done, they decided that our bagel consumption ranked only 10th in the country. On average, New Jerseyans eat only 47.92 bagels per year. Do better, people!

Can I challenge this ruling? Perhaps we can get a DQ on Massachusetts? A state like that is probably considering a Lender’s frozen bagel like a real bagel and deserves a disqualification.

Oh wait, here’s a loophole. What about pretentious states like Connecticut that are probably scooping their bagels? You cannot claim you ate a full bagel if, like some monster, you scooped out half of its innards. That should count as half a bagel as well as a poor life decision.

Come to think of it, I bet our bagels are bigger than most. I bet a Maine bagel is about 70% the size of one of our glorious ones.

So yeah, there are a lot of questions about this study, but here’s the Top 10 by average number of bagels eaten per year per resident.

10 New Jersey 47.92

9 Pennsylvania 49.24

8 Kentucky 49.26

7 Connecticut 50.00

6 New York 54.04

5 Michigan 57.58

4 Massachusetts 59.25

3 Georgia 59.76

2 Delaware 71.55

1 Maine 73.37

New Jersey? Buddy? You let Delaware beat you? Are you %#!?ing kidding me?

The average American eats 38.73 bagels per year. At least we beat that.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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