A new red panda at Cape May County Zoo hates David Bowie

As ‘the kids’ might say, we have a sitch going on at the Cape May County Zoo. (Sitch meaning situation.) The sitch is this.

There’s a new red panda that recently joined the zoo. Her name is Aurora, and she’s five years old and came to New Jersey from the Children’s Zoo in Indiana.

“She is very curious and sweet and loves training and interacting with her keepers,” the zoo announced after she was settled. “She is also quite the acrobat and can be spotted climbing upside down and sideways all over the yard.”

But there’s a problem. Aurora hates David Bowie. Like, reeeeally hates Bowie.

I know you’re thinking, ‘What’s the big deal? Just don’t play any more David Bowie music around her.’

No, not that David Bowie. Not the late rock star. We’re talking about the other red panda who was already living at Cape May County Zoo and was Aurora’s new roommate. The red panda is named after the rock star.

A zoo official told nj.com, “She does not care for David Bowie AT ALL, so you won’t be seeing them together.”

How bad is this strange animosity? They’re being made to take turns using the yard separately. I can only assume Aurora has been trying to open a can of whoopass on David Bowie, and nothing ground control can do is going to save this Major Tom.

The zoo is now resorting to building an entirely separate yard just to avoid the confrontations. It’s been that bad.

Now, red pandas are endangered. The world population declined by 40% in the last two decades. I don’t know if they have plans on mating these two red pandas, but I certainly can’t see it ending well.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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