Charles Bramesco

Andrew Dice Clay Could Be Lady Gaga’s Dad in Bradley Cooper-Directed ‘A Star Is Born’ Remake
Have we all safely made it through the headline above? No, you’re not having a stroke, those words are all in the correct order. (Unless part of your face is sagging and your speech isn’t making sense, in which case please stop reading mildly amusing entertainment news posts and contact a medical emergency service immediately.) Depending on how closely you’ve been following this project, the most shocking/perplexing/frightening part could be that Bradley Cooper will make his first foray into feature directing with a remake of the classic showbiz saga A Star Is Born, or maybe the fact that professional weirdo Lady Gaga will presumably assume human form to take the starring role. But those up-to-date on the development of this production will express the most surprise and bafflement over the breaking news that none other than Andrew Dice Clay — the Diceman, the Diceman, twice-as-nice-man — has entered the mix.

Apple Plans to Break Into Hollywood with Original Movies and TV Shows
Chances are, you’re currently reading these words on a phone, computer, or tablet manufactured by Apple. Maybe on your morning commute, you listen to music downloaded from the ITunes Music Store. If you are an on-the-go sort of person who’s not afraid to be made fun of, you may have an Apple Watch wrapped around your wrist right now. The tech giant’s influence has permeated so many facets of modern life, and as we patiently await Apple’s big foray into the burgeoning field of teledildonics, they’ve announced plans to plant their flag on one more heated battlefield.

At Last, ‘13 Going on 30’ Is Coming to Broadway
After more than a decade of patiently waiting, my fellow 13 Going on 30 diehards have reason to rejoice. Today, Deadline has the exclusive that all of our steadfast prayers have at last been answered, and that a stage musical adaptation of the 2004 Jennifer Garner vehicle is headed to Broadway. With a script from original screenwriters Josh Goldsmith and Cathy Yuspa and music and lyrics from Alan Zachary and Michael Weiner (the minds behind the recent First Date), the story of Jenna Rink’s magical transformation into herself after the fun part of her life is over will be reborn.

Scarlett Johansson to Star in Male Stripper Comedy From ‘Broad City’ Team
Paul W. Downs and Lucia Aniello, the boyfriend-girlfriend comedy team known as Paulilu, has been churning out hilarity at factory-levels for the past couple years. In addition to working on the writing staff of Broad City (where Downs also appears as Abbi’s insufferably upbeat boss Trey), they created the Time Traveling Bong miniseries that ran on Comedy Central just last week and have loads of so

Will Ferrell to Return to the North Pole For His Next Comedy
Get a few drinks in a group of guy-pals, and antics inevitably arise: doing donuts in an abandoned parking lot, maybe hitting a strip club, the odd snowmobile expedition to the North Pole — you know, guy stuff. That last one actually happened to a group of foolhardy drinking buddies in 1968 Minnesota, too, and now Deadline reports that Will Ferrell and Sony have set about recreating the epic journ

Lionsgate to Cut ‘Ascendant’ Budget in Light of ‘Divergent’ Franchise Fatigue
It had to happen eventually: the post-apocalyptic YA bubble has finally popped, and Hollywood has begun to panic as it realizes that it’s hit a point of diminishing returns. Allegiant, the third installment of the Divergent franchise that was supposed to launch Shailene Woodley to A-list ubiquity and grant Lionsgate another box-office bonanza in the tradition of their highly lucrative Hunger Games franchise, did not perform as expected. That may be putting it lightly, too — this past weekend, the film opened to a pitiful $29.1 million, dwarfed in comparison against the film’s bloated $110 million budget.

Chinese Theaters Cut Down on Cell Phone Use With Lasers, Shaming
China’s been ahead of the Western curve for some time now. The U.S. economy cowers before the might of Chinese manufacturing prowess, and some of Hollywood’s most popular blockbusters have catered to Eastern tastes. By 2025, we will all have a workable knowledge of Cantonese. But for now, China has made its latest leap forward in the field of etiquette, more specifically movie theater etiquette, and even more specifically, how to deal with a-holes who won’t stop using their cell phones during a movie. Polite whispered requests, chair-nudging, chair-kicking, and in-theater doxxing have all proven ineffective in the continuing war on America’s rudest audience members. China’s contrived a smarter, more futuristic mode of combatting these menaces.

Warner Bros. Developing Chinese Remakes of ‘Miss Congeniality,’ ‘Blended’
Flagship Entertainment, the new joint Asian-production venture from Warner Bros. and China Media Capital, has now pinpointed a can’t-fail strategy for total domination on the battleground of the Chinese cineplex: Adam goddamn Sandler.

The Lonely Island Tones It Down for ‘Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping’ Green-Band Trailer
The Lonely Island’s upcoming music mockumentary Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping won’t start never stopping until June 3, but Universal has already released a green-band trailer for the eyeballs too innocent for last week’s red-band delight. The newly released spot covers most of the same territory as the previously released trailer, introducing the intricate network of assistants in the orbit of pop sensation Conner4Real (Andy Samberg) and the star-studded roster of performers who will portray them.

New ‘Ghostbusters’ Photo Makes a Good Argument for the New ‘Ghostbusters’
There’s still quite a while to go until the July 15, 2016 release date of Paul Feig’s all-female Ghostbusters reboot, but the fires of fan anticipation must be continually stoked if they’re going to burn strong enough to last through the winter, and the wasteland of pop-cultural apathy that is the month of January...

Check Out James Gunn’s Awesome ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ Coffee Table
The director, a regularly active user of social media platforms Twitter and Facebook, took to the web last night to show off one his one-of-a-kind interior decor. Specifically, he posted a couple photos of his coffee table, a custom-made piece designed to look just like the Awesome Mix cassette tape so cherished by Chris Pratt’s Peter Quill, a.k.a. Star-Lord, in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Val Kilmer Says He’s Officially Returning For ‘Top Gun 2’
Val Kilmer has taken to his personal Facebook page to post a Top Gun 2 status update with ramifications on a scale that we can only describe as tectonic.