Some Resolutions Need To Be Made For 2012
5 days into the new year and I’m betting that at least half of the people who actually made a resolution for 2012 has already failed. On the bright side is that there are 361 days left to get it right (don’t forget that 2012 is a Leap Year). Some people cannot be bothered with something that may seem so trivial, and then there are some who take the easy way out by resolving to not make n any resolution. Shouldn’t we all have some goals to strive for in this new year?
Some resolutions may seem basic and cliche. I know I resolve to lose the 20 pounds I gained since taking this job here, become a better boyfriend by being a better human being, try to learn something new every day, and not always be in a rush (slow down and enjoy).
Resolutions are not necessarily a waste of time if you use them to better yourself in some way. Some celebrities of all levels should take this advice. The right resolution could help them and mankind. Here’s my list of those who need to take my suggestion and run with it:
Kim Kardashian: A new “hair-do” (so you have new bangs – big deal?) is not enough here. Resolve to come completely clean about the marriage to Kris Humphries. If your ex is an innocent victim, shouldn’t he have his life back to where it was and not be the most hated player in the NBA? We are a forgiving society, and think about the $$$ you’ll make in selling this story.
Sinead O’Connor: You get married, announce a divorce after less than 3 weeks of marriage, then change your mind after a night of unbridled passion. You are already doing what I would resolve for you to do – seek professional help! I hope marriage #4 goes better this time around, but you obviously rushed this relationship a tad. I would like to know if being married and living separately right now is the best idea.
Andy Reid: After a disappointing 8-8 season coaching the E-A-G-L-E-S, you saved your job yet again (this time by winning your last 4 games). All Eagles beg of you to stop with your patent cliches you say at every press conference after each game and show some fire. Fans need to see you really care about success. We know you do, but we need to see that more. Go off script this year and I’ll bet the Super Bowl becomes more of a reality than ever.
Lindsay Lohan: You have more ways to avoid your issues than any star in Hollywood today. You have talent, you have support, and now you need to own your life. Resolve to go to Rehab and become a Comeback story (and God willing not a statistic).
Drew Barrymore: Congrats on your recent engagement. May the 3rd time be the charm for your life! Now as far as your film career, resolve to make better choices. You have been one of the few former Child Stars who have made the transition to adult actress, but your last 8 films or so on the big screen have not matched your previous success. Change it up – find more stuff like the HBO film Grey Gardens you did in ’09 and Oscar will find you!
Kanye West: You have intelligence, but sometimes you come across as full of yourself (doesn’t a 91 Twitter manifesto in 2 1/2 hrs seem a bit over the top?) You have recovered from the Taylor Swift award moment – Resolve to realize that there is more in our world that Kanye West. We want to like you Kanye!
Justin Timberlake: You belong with Jessica Biel, and you have conquered the pop world musically. Your acting continues to grow but I ask you to consider something radical – resolve to talk to NBC about doing a full season on Saturday Night Live. The bits you have done over the last few years have been some of the funniest stuff the show has ever had. You would bring another great jolt to the show, and your comedic chops will only get better!
The voters for The Oscars: resolve to recognize Bridesmaids as one of the Best Pictures of the past year and then reward the film with the Oscar. Yes this is not your typical Oscar film, but you have gone off script before. This would be a step toward having a pulse of what the public truly raved about this past year. A bit raunchy for the academy Awards, but it might make your show be the talk of the season and create a great buzz for next year for unpredictability.
Hollywood Movie Studios: Resolve to stop making so many remakes! How many more Planet of The Apes retakes can one person take?
Last and not least, The Phillies: This area is left wondering what should have been in 2011. We know that there was no better team last year during the season, and the 2012 team is basically the same. We know you want the title, so resolve to bring the World Series back here and have the ghost of Harry Kalas smile over the area with a spirit that will uplift the city one more time!