It's not the girl, it's the gown, I swear.  There were definitely more hits than misses on last night's Golden Globe Awards red carpet, but overall it was uneventful.  There weren't many 'wow' moments, with most of Hollywood playing it safe.  Simplicity was king, and baby bumps were trendy, but still someone has to go down.  Here are a list of my five best and worst gowns (and some honorable mentions).

 

 

 

 

 

WORST GOWNS:

 

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--Paula Patton, actress/wife of Robin Thicke, in Stephane Rolland.  At least we know where the spare toilet paper from the ladies room ended up.  It's all uphill from here.  Someone from Project Runway could have done better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

--Hayden Panettiere of Nashville, in Tom Ford.  She's so tiny, this dress does nothing for her figure, Tom Ford can do better.  And I'm kind of over this 'my hair is wet so I left it like this' bob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

 

--Taylor Schilling of Orange is the New Black.  Not awful, just boring.  In the sea of green on the red carpet, this was the most forgettable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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--Sandra Bullock in Prabal Gurung.  This gown could have so easily been saved it the black extended to the floor.  The breakup of color at the bottom just reads tragic ballerina.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

--Julia Roberts in Dolce and Gabbana.  Four words.  Been there, done that.  Sharon Stone made a fashion moment of the little white button up years ago.  It was a red carpet statement that was never meant to be replicated.  Why Julia would do this to a Dolce gown is beyond me.  Just look at the shape of that gorgeous column dress.  Oh I'm sorry, you can spot it?  Right, because it gets lost in looking at the collar of the shirt.  Its the Globes girl, make an effort.

 

 

 

 

 

BEST GOWNS:

 

 

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--Zosia Mamet of Girls.  This was quite possibly my favorite gown of the night.  And because Zosia isn't THE star of Girls, and often makes tragic fashion mistakes, she flew under the radar last night.  A smile would have been her best accessory, but she did a bob effortlessly, and the placement of the beading and embroidery on this dress is perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Danny Moloshok, Reuters Landov

 

 

 

--Lupita Nyong'o of 12 Years a Slave.  What a debut.  If you're new to the scene this is how you want to make your mark.  Cape.  Red.  Ralph Lauren.  Done and done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

--Margot Robbie of The Wolf of Wall Street.  Gucci!  Cut in all the right places, this gown's simple silhouette makes me B-A-N-A-N-A-S in the best way.  The emerald gem piping is gleaming like Margot's sheeny skin and spotlight smile.  Another legendary carpet debut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

--Kate Beckinsale in Zuhair Murad.  Gunmetal glamor at its best!  Kate has never made my worst dressed list because (thanks to stylist Rachel Zoe) she gets its right every single time.  The cut of the gown is nothing new, but the materials are to die.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

 

--Cate Blanchet in Armani.  Beyond.  Cate brings it, and she doesn't even look like she cares.  She stormed the red carpet in this lace number like she's had it in her closet for years or just threw on her favorite pair of sweats.  Yep, no big deal.  Just left our jaws on the floor is all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DRESSES I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT:

 

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--Jennifer Lawrence in Dior.  Hmm, she looks fab, just think I was a tad underwhelmed.  Perhaps she didn't expect to win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

 

 

 

--Kaley Cuocco in Rani Zakhem.  Love the water colors, love the silhouette.  Just maybe don't love this on Kaley because her skin and hair are so fair.  Wouldn't this have been bonkers on Sofia Vergara.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BEST DRESSED BABY BUMP:

 

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--Olivia Wilde in Gucci Premiere.  Whoa, Jason Sudeikas' love child is in there.  I don't recall every seeing a pregnant woman so gorgeous on a red carpet.  This emerald green stunner played of Olivia's eyes so amazingly, and made her the envy of every mommy-to-be on earth.